You’re aware of ADHD but might still feel weighed down by self-judgment, past experiences, and the pressure to “just try harder.” Maybe you keep slipping into old habits, or you wonder if you’ll ever be consistent.

Many ADHDers internalise their struggles as personal failures, believing they should be able to keep up with neurotypical expectations. It feeling like chronic impostor syndrome. The problem isn’t that you’re failing, it’s that the world wasn’t designed for ADHD brains. You may understand your ADHD brain, however old stories and beliefs are keeping you stuck and feeling frustrated.

Next step

The Mask & The Mirror Exercise

The purpose of the exercise is surface internalised beliefs, challenge shame-based narratives and notice your hidden strengths.

How to get started

The Mask

Write or draw what you feel you show to the world, especially in settings where you feel pressure to perform, fit in, or hold it together. You can write, draw, or even create a kind of character sketch of your masked self.

Use these prompts to help. Take your time with this, it may take you a few times of answering these questions to get to the true answers. You can also journal these questions first, to see if you find deeper answers.

• What behaviours, traits or habits do you use to pass or mask?

• What do others tell you you’re good at that actually costs you a lot of energy?

• What am I hiding about myself because I fear I will be judged?

The Mirror

Write or draw your truth, the version of you that feels most real, safe, or at ease, even if you don’t often show it. Use curiosity here and not judgement. You might not fully know who you are under the mask yet, this part is about wondering, not fixing.

Prompts to help

• When and where do I feel most like myself?

• What do I wish people knew about about me that they may not usually see?

• What strengths do I only see when I stop performing?

Reflect

Now look at both the mask and the mirror and ask…

• Where is the biggest gap between the mask and the mirror?

• Which parts of my real self would I like to show more often?

• What’s one small way I can let go of a mask today? (I encourage you to make this a tiny thing and choose a safe place to experiment)

Connect (Optional element)

Take a small object (a pebble, token, keyring, anything you like).

Hold it while reflecting on your mirror self. Let it be a tactile reminder of the truest self. You might carry it with you, or place it somewhere visible.

Why this works

This exercise helps you uncover those invisible forces that keep you stuck in cycles of burnout, people-pleasing, or self-doubt. When you start to name the parts of yourself you’ve hidden, you reclaim access to your real strengths, not the ones you've performed, but the ones that energise you and feel true. This is where the shift from surviving to self-trusting begins.

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