You’re seeing  your ADHD in a new light, not as a flaw to be hidden, but as a different way of experiencing the world. Maybe you've started noticing your strengths, but self-doubt still lingers, especially when your needs or preferences don’t match the norm.

Many ADHDers are used to seeking approval, permission, or reassurance from others, often because they’ve been told (directly or indirectly) that their way of doing things is “wrong” or “too much.” Self-validation is the antidote to that: it’s the skill of saying “This makes sense for me” without needing someone else to agree.

Self-validation is the foundation of true self-advocacy. When you can honour your own reality, it becomes easier to express what you need, unapologetically.

Next step

Trusting Your Inner Compass

This exercise will help you notice those patterns and begin building your own inner rulebook , one that supports you, not the version of you you’ve had to perform.

How to get started

Step 1 - Pause & Reflect

Give yourself 5–10 minutes (or whatever feels doable) to check in with yourself. You can write it out, speak into a voice note, or even just sit with the questions.

Reflection Questions

• Where am I still measuring myself against neurotypical expectations?

• How often do I push myself to “prove” my worth through overworking or overcommitting?

• What would thriving look like if I let go of those external pressures?

• You’re not looking for perfect answers, just honest ones. Try to notice any emotions that come up too.

Step 2 - Spot the “Shoulds”

Start to catch those quiet internal rules and inherited beliefs. Look out for phrases like:

I should be able to…

That’s just how it’s done…

I can’t ask for that…

When they show up, get curious

Where did this expectation come from?

Is it actually true for me?

What would I choose if I wasn’t afraid of judgment?

You might even want to keep a running list of your “shoulds” and start replacing them one by one.

Step 3 - Rewrite Your Inner Rulebook

This is where your self-validation practice gets real. When you try something your way and it works, capture it. You might want to keep a note on your phone or use the worksheet provided.

Here’s how:

• Notice what you did differently.

• Name the outcome or benefit.

• Write a new rule or permission statement based on that truth.

Example

• I stopped checking my emails first thing and gave myself quiet time instead.

• I felt calmer and less reactive all day.

• New Rule: “I start my day in a way that supports my focus, not other people’s expectations

Keep it simple. These mini ‘rules’ are really permission slips to be more you.

Why This Matters

Every time you honour your own truth, you build your self-trust muscle. Over time, you’ll start to feel less reliant on outside approval, because you’ll have real-life evidence that your way works.